Fathers Parenting
Complements Mothers Parenting

Fathers parenting

Parenting by fathers provides children with a strong wall against which they can stand and face the world. It gives children the strength to look in the eyes of adversities, rather than get bogged down by the stresses during childhood and adulthood.

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Fathers Parenting Gives Children the Strength to Look in the Eyes of Adversities

Nurturing environment for child rearing

In the nurturing environment, created by an involved father along with a caring mother, children are endowed with unique skills to explore their own abilities while encountering the challenges on path of life.

Cultural bias

  • Fathers’ parenting is over shadowed by the mothers rejoicing the lime light of child parenting.

  • Culturally, an average father is usually looked upon as if he is disengaged and uninvolved with the child.

  • The prevalent myth of “superfluous father” pushes even the well meaning fathers away from effective parenting.

Feeling of isolation hinders fathers parenting

A new mother’s focus on the child along with her disturbed postnatal moods and ailments severs the communication between the two new parents. Consequently, the father feels left alone and withdraws himself into isolation: 
A breach in parents' relationship emerges; something that the parents had not even distantly anticipated!

Postpartum depression in fathers

Fathers’ parenting is influenced by fathers’ postpartum depression. 
1 in 10 fathers are reported to suffer from postpartum depression.

Indeed, men also go through the feelings of inadequacy and depression while trying to meet the new challenges associated with parenting newborn.

Unfortunately, father's postpartum depression is usually shadowed by the universal focus on mother and child.

Postpartum depression, though usually associated with mothers, affects many fathers. 

What contributes to fathers' postpartum depression?

  • Lack of awareness
    Women are usually unaware of child birth associated turmoils in her partner.
    His ambivalence in child care is interpreted as uninvolved father's parenting; a source of conflict.

  • Father's inability to meet the expectations
    New father often goes through the feelings of inadequacy when he sees his spouse dissatisfied with his capabilities under emerging challenges.

  • Father finds himself lonely
    After all the waiting, amidst the range of emotions, amazement, relief, and concern with the arrival of a baby, the father finds himself lonely.
    He gets convinced that he simply is an extra pair of hands to help in the chores.

  • Bruised self-esteem fosters depression.
    Not believing himself to be an important irreplaceable influence on the child, t
    he father retreats into obscurity.

Consequences of postpartum depression in fathers

  • Depressed fathers are unable to contribute to child rearing .
    The precious contribution of fathers parenting in child’s health, development and social adjustment for a happy productive adult life is thus lost.

  • Parenting with depression
    Father's depression bares the same consequences as that of the mother's on psychosocial development of children.

  • Depression is a common cause for initiating substance abuse Depression among fathers needs to be recognized and treated efficiently, before a vicious circle of alcoholism, substance abuse.

  • Extra-marital affairs set in
    Parenting is stressful. Post-partum depression and feeling of inadequacy leads to adverse impact on the parents’ relationship, which often ends up in divorce.

  • Divorce
    The frustration, fear, isolation, exhaustion and financial commitment one feels as a parent is highly aggravated in single parenting. Consequently, 60 percent victims of child abuse are the after effect of single parenting.
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Child needs both the parents

With healthy partnership between the parents, parenting can become a pleasurable experience. Markedly different attributes of mothers and fathers parenting style complement each other. Both are absolutely essential for healthy overall childhood development that leads to happy, healthy well adjusted adulthood

Fathers parenting style

  • Fathers' approach may be mistaken for coolness
    They are, by nature, less expressive in face of an emotional situation.

  • Effectively sharing of emotions
    In their own special way, fathers effectively share emotions with children with lasting healing effects. The emotional security thus generated,
    gives children the
    confidence to explore the environment and adds to their cognitive development. As a result, they score high IQ.

  • Fathers’ parenting involves active pursuits
    They encourage children to take high levels of challenges.
    Each challenge overcome not only adds to the lessons learned from experience, but also to self-concept and personality development.during childhood.

  • Fathers are friends to their children
    When interacting with children, fathers become one with them. They jungle gym, give piggy back rides, indulge in pillow fights, tickling games and shadow boxing.

  • Fathers approach misbehaving children with remarkable calmness
    It teaches the children to accept the inevitable. Their ability to control aggressive impulses is enhanced. They are able to take the stresses and frustrations in a stride.

  • Father parenting creates social harmony for children
    Children grow up to be more tolerant, less aggressive and less negative towards their peer. The social harmony adds to their popularity and enriching experiences.

  • Gives psycho social security
    The presence of an involved caring father
    at home, adds to child’s psycho-social security and minimizes the abusive threats.

  • Gets children ready for external world
    All the attributes of fathers parenting get children ready for external world; from school readiness to happy, productive, balanced social adult of the society.

  • Helps handle authorities effectively
    In children’s eyes, fathers are the ultimate power figure at home. Their harmonious relation with the authority at home gives them the confidence and capability to manoeuvre their way in the world.

10 "P"s of paternal parenting / fathers parenting

  • Positive role model - Image of affection and strength
  • Protector

  • Provider

  • Pal

  • Peace force

  • Patience

  • Perseverance

  • Philosopher and guide

  • Psychological support

  • Power and ultimate authority

However, the fathers who get separated from their children for one or other reason, loose on adequate parent-child bonding, which jeopardizes their father-child relationship.

Fatherhood is constantly being redefined in context to, cultural, employment, and family issues.

In spite of the positive effects fathers’ parenting has on child health, misconception prevails that child care is not a man's job, even in large, liberal, cosmopolitan and prosperous communities.

Reassuring men what an invaluable and irreplaceable role fathers parenting play in the lives of children can lead to fathers’ more enthusiastic contribution to positive parenting.

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